What sort of coach
(1) The eager young batsman had just scored yet another duck and was apologising to the captain.
'I think I could do with some advice. What sort of coach would you recommend?'
'A long distance one.'
(2)
I need four runs
The batsman said to the bowler, 'Give me an easy one, will you? I bet a fellow in the crowd five pounds that I'd score four runs.'
The bowler did so and the batsman hit it to the boundary. Straight away, he walked for the pavilion.
'You're not out,' said the bowler, 'Where are you going?'
The batsman yelled back: 'I'm going to find the chap who bet me!'
(3)
Your house is on fire
During the match, the batsman heard a cry from the crowd 'Smith! Smith! Your house is on fire!'
He dropped his bat and ran off the field, through the crowd and into the road. Breathlessly, he pounded along and then stopped.
'Why am I running?' he said. 'My name's not Smith!'
(4)
Hit on the head
The fast bowler hit the batsman on the head and the batsman danced around in agony, clutching his foot. The opposing captain ran up to help and then said, 'Wait a minute. You were hit on the head. Why are you holding your foot?'
'My corn's giving me hell!' moaned the batsman.
(5)
Wonderful shot
The nervous batsman had scored a shaky two and was met at the pavilion steps by the captain, who enthused: 'That was a wonderful shot!'
'Which one?'.
'The one where you hit the ball!'
(6)
Woman batter
The despairing umpire was trying to control a ladies' cricket match. Preparing to give a guard to the opening bat, he asked, 'What would you like?' :
'I'll have two legs . . . by the way, that sight screen is filthy and is my hair OK?'
